Do you find yourself saying that other people are worse off, there are starving people in the world? In doing so you are invalidating your pain through comparison, In effect you’re saying your pain isn’t as important.
I start off this episode by telling you how excited I am to share the new Facebook group Your Fertility Matters. I feel this will be a great inclusive space that will support the free resources I have available and you get to know me.
Are you downplaying your own pain, because maybe you don’t want to be pitied or perhaps you feel you should be grateful for what you have?
The emotional impact of trying to conceive is huge, I’ve discussed that many times, and its a big part of what I do to support you. But, I ask the question does you not acknowledging your own pain, not comparing, improve the lives of the other people? No, you are invalidating your own pain through comparison for the benefit of no-one.
It’s OK not to be OK. I’ve said that before, but can you really start to accept that? If you don’t feel that, then you are most likely thinking, it’s not OK to not be OK.
I unpick fear, comparison, shame, beliefs and expectations.
I can’t mention shame without mentioning the wonderful Brene Brown, and also I mention the wonderful Glennon Doyle and her amazing book Untamed
I discuss empathy, the difference between it and sympathy. How important it is to show empathy and compassion to ourselves.
I share some tips, conversational journalling, being, naming your tigers, taming and living with the tigers, stepping out of fight or flight and being able to say to yourself as you would to a loved one, its OK, its OK, I’ve got you, I’m here.