Hey, you up there, I need you to know that I am doing my absolute best. The fact that I haven’t been able to provide us with the baby we both crave is deeply upsetting to me as much as it is to you.
I really need us to be able to work together on this, but I get the vibe that you feel that I’m not working hard enough for you, that I’m working against you.
I hear your anguish when each month I shed my lining that I was trying to prepare for our babies nest. I feel your heartbreak when you hear that someone else is pregnant, and then the guilt that follows for feeling that way.
I sense how confused you are about all the information out there of different things you can do, and then I feel the unfairness of it all, because other people got pregnant without having to change anything, other people got pregnant who didn’t want to.
I feel every emotion, every muscle tightness and I hear your thoughts. ” I’m never going to get pregnant”, “this is too much to bear”
I can only work with what I’m given and I need to explain to you what it is that I need:
- Good quality eggs – What you eat and the stress levels in your body lead to levels to inflammation and when these levels are high, the quality of eggs is affected. So even if a fertilised egg makes its way to me, we cant guarantee success. I care for it, I envelop it with love, but if the quality is poor, there is nothing I can do. I get thought that other people get pregnant who have poor diets, who drink even take drugs, so what should you? Half of our babies DNA is stored here, it codes the health for the future baby as well as looks and traits.
- Perhaps we can look at reducing inflammatory foods such as sugar and processed foods and look at getting some good fats into us, avocado, fish oil…
- if your response is why should I? we need to explore that thought too.
- Its time for a Fertility Rewire
- On a similar note, good quality sperm, this is a game of two halves. Having a good count is not the only thing that matters. The DNA for your future baby is here, it codes the future health of baby as well as looks and characteristics.
- Balanced levels of hormones (oestrogen and progesterone primarily) – this works in a number of ways. There are occasions where the oestrogen is too high and that might be due to what you are eating, what chemicals we are exposed to are some examples . Sometimes its not really high its just that its a lot higher than the progesterone, so its not opposed, which is vital. There are so many reasons for this, inflammatory changes and conditions such as endometriosis and poly cystic ovary syndrome is an example, but the biggest reason is the levels if stress in your body.
- Lets look into diet, reduce our chemical exposure and ways we can support the hormonal balance.
- I know that there is an amazing 9often conflicting) lot of information out there, but we can get help with this
- Lets support the liver as its having to process a lot,
- Stress levels – As a result of this perceived threat (your body believes it is in mortal danger, that there are tigers coming at us from all directions), the object is preservation. You are not of course actually in mortal danger, but your body doesn’t know that. It responds to the chemical adrenaline, and that is being released so regularly at the moment that the danger threat is on red alert. Reproduction is not vital or even safe at this stage, so the pre cursor to progesterone is stolen from me to support the cortisol production needed. We are basically put into shut down.
- Lets look at ways to do this. we might not be able to remove the causes of stress but we can help our body come up with a way to address it, to change the programme, to stop the cortisol stealing our goodies.
- Can we do some reconnection? maybe visualise me receiving some healing energy, place you hands on your lower abdomen and connect with me.
- Mindfulness is a good place to start, there are a lot of misconceptions about it, its not emptying your mind or sitting in a trance. Its not necessarily about relaxing, its about getting to a point where you can see that what enters your head is a thought, not a fact.
- Self hypnosis can really help us connect. When you think of a happy time, what happens? you smile, I feel the oxytocin (happy hormone) too so I know its a good thing, and that was from just thinking about something, so how powerful can the mind be in other ways?
- Knowing that our feelings come from thoughts is a revelation, especially when you realise that you are in control of your thoughts.
- Its time for a fertility rewire
- I’m feeling restricted – the time that you spend sitting throughout the day, your posture, your exercise routine (or not) is affecting the structures in the pelvis and its changing the space that I have. It sometimes means that I am pushed backwards or forwards which affects my blood and nerve supply and my ability to function.
- Can we stand more perhaps, or stand up tall and take a walk near trees and nature?
- Perhaps we could look into yoga or Pilates? I hear there are specific exercises that can give me more space
- Perhaps Fertility Massage Therapy
- I know that having to have sex, when its the right time is no fun, its changed hasn’t it? The presence of oxytocin will help conception and we release this when we are happy, when we are aroused too. Do you know when is the right time? sperm lives longer than the egg, so best to have it there ready and waiting when the egg is released
- perhaps having sex for the sake of having sex, when we are not fertile could be fun? Returning to how things were?
And finally, can we get some help to support us in this? There is so much information out there, There wil be someone who can coach us through this. We are in this together, we want the same, lets do this
I love you,
Your womb xx
Like to read more posts, hear about events, webinars, podcast? Click here to join the mailing list