It’s hard to stick to all the things that you are trying to improve your chances of getting pregnant, especially if you don’t really know why you are doing them or know if they are working.
I was recently called out on this a bit with my own business. What was my motivation?
Well my motivation was to of course get clients that I can help, and to educate and advocate for couples through my podcast.
So why haven't recorded an episode for months?
Well I've been poorly, my kids have been poorly, I've had covid, I've had migraines, I have my clients and limited time.
Was I feeling deflated, do I lack motivation?
Well actually what I have been lacking, is discipline and I talk about this in this episode regarding your fertility journey?
How can you be motivated when you don’t see results?
Are you looking for the big result and not noticing the micro results that are adding up?
Do you understand, trust and believe in the actions you are taking, or is this lind faith because someone else has done this?
Are your stress/worry levels so high due toall the things you are trying with no results, of having no answers?
When you trust in the process or the person advising the process, you can get discipline your actions because you trust them?
Well this is how I support my clients, every day.
Click here for my free guide 6 things stopping you getting pregnant
Hello and welcome to Episode 58 of the Fertility Rewire podcast.
And no, I haven't abandoned you. I am so sorry. I think the last time published an episode was in July. So I really apologize about that, but it kind of prompted me to talk about what I'm going to talk about today.
But before I do, I wanted to let you know about a new document that I've prepared that you can get for free, which is called Six Things Stopping You From Getting Pregnant.Now, I will put the link in the show notes. It's also on the website, and you can also grab it on Instagram @fertilityrewire.
I got called out
So let me tell you about what prompted me, Well my inactivity here, shall we say. So I obviously have a business and my business is about fertility and I struggle to talk about it cause I get a bit icky about it being a business.
I've been working with a business coach on my team and we've been looking at ways to get information out to people, to streamline my business, to make things easier for working with clients and clients getting to me. And she called me out because she talked about the difference between motivation and discipline. And I do think, you know, when you look at motivation, you can liken that to your own fertility journey.
So how motivated are you to undertake the actions that you've read about?
Maybe people have suggested, maybe you've heard me say, but how motivated are you to do that? And at the start I would think that you are very motivated to do it, but then what results are you getting? And so the motivation can drop, you can have thoughts like, what's the point of doing this? It's not working.
So what is the point in doing it?
But then we come to discipline and discipline is that you just doesn't matter why you are doing it, it doesn't matter what the outcome is. It's the discipline of setting aside that you're going to do something and sticking to it.
Now, from a business perspective and speaking with an expert as I have done, I can see actually how the discipline is going to work better for me. Because if I set a schedule of the first Monday of every month, I'm going to record so many episodes of the podcast, then that's done, isn't it?
It's not that I'm finding time in between things that I'm doing. So when we look at that with fertility, first of all, let's look at your motivation. And you've heard me talk about this before. Why are you doing what you're doing?
So you might be stopping eating certain foods, you might not be drinking alcohol. Your partner might not be going in a hot tub. You might be stopping things that could be detrimental that you have read, that you have been advised about. Not necessarily by experts, but also actually, and I will bring up on this because I spoke with a client this week and she's confused because so many different experts and I do inverted commas there, have told her different things, different supplements and what's the driver behind that and who are those experts? One was a gynecologist, one was a fertility doctor, and they were saying different things really. So, we have to look at this wider picture of what we're doing. So yes, supplements are important, diet is important, your stress levels are important. Various over the counter things that you can get.
Different herb supplements, they may help you,
Just because they help one person doesn't necessarily mean they help you.
We put different practices into place with my clients depending on their cycle. So depending on whether their luteal phase is short for example, which I've talked about, whether there is estrogen dominance, whether the sperm result parameters, although normal are actually not really the best or the optimum they could be.
So to get motivation, you have to truly believe and you have to understand what it is you are doing. You have to understand what it is you are doing, why you are doing it. And we look then at factors around how it's workable and realistic really. Because if you are become on this, and I will say desperate because it is a desperate feeling of I will do anything to get pregnant, you know, I'll do this, I'll do that, I'll do the other.
But you know, when you get to a point of knowledge and understanding, it is so much easier to be motivated. And I hope this free document, six things stopping you from getting pregnant might start to build on perhaps what you've already learned and known.
It might build on what you're hearing from me on other podcasts or information or blogs that you are looking at. So it's really important to accept that sometimes motivation isn't the thing, because that is leading to the upset of ‘what's the point? Nothing's changing or you feel nothing is changing.
The result you are looking for is a child
The result you are waiting for isn’t necessarily a positive pregnancy test, it’s a successful pregnancy that leads to a live birth. That's the result you are waiting for. But the little results you get along the way that you might not understand unless you are being guided are really, really important.
And I see huge amounts of little results with my clients that are building to that final big result. So maybe for now, if you're not working with someone, if you do have these things that you believe in that you know are right for you to do, it's down to you perhaps to look at discipline, to identify what you are going to change, if anything. Investigate the background to it rather than accept what somebody else has said. Because as I've said many times, there are many micro factors that are affecting your fertility. It might not be one big thing. I mean the big thing is the fact that you're not getting pregnant, but these micro factors that we can look at and address might be where you need to go. And actually, and I'm sorry to mention stress because oh, let's call it worry.
You worry about the fact that you're not getting pregnant.
Your worry and your fear about the fact that all these things you are doing and still you are not getting pregnant. The unfairness of it all and the desperation that I did talk about earlier, all of those factors may be negatively impacting your fertility, which doesn't help, I know doesn't help. A
We can look at ways to reduce that response in you. But one of those, and I come back to this, is when you understand why you are doing what you are doing, when you see those micro results, when you see things slowly changing, that can put your motivation back on track. Or maybe you need your motivation from an outside source, maybe it's time that you are able to slowly drop this and put your trust in somebody else, somebody like myself or similar.
And that's a big part of when I'm working with people: I ask the question, Are you prepared to trust me to just help you? And we set timeframes and you can do that for yourself. Say. let's do this for three months and let's see where we're at.
Okay, So I wanted to think about discipline, I wanted to think about motivation. And here is my discipline now. I am going to record podcasts on the first Monday of every month, and then there will be a steady stream for you. And if things happen like they have happened for me over the past few months, I still have a bank of podcasts for you. So that's my discipline and my motivation is that you get the information that you need.
And I strongly feel that my role, my biggest role and my passion is that I inform you and I can advocate on your behalf when you are speaking to medical professionals and so on.
So think about your motivation, maybe drop the motivation for a little while, look at discipline just momentarily, and then try to find out why you are doing what you're doing. And when you have trust and belief in the actions you are taking or trust and belief in the person who's advising you of these actions, you might find it easier to follow a specific protocol, not an everything protocol.
I hope that helps and as I've said, I will be back speaking to you regularly and if you wanted to get your hands on the six things stopping you from getting pregnant, you can see where you’re at.
If you want to chat to me about ways I can help you, get the understanding you crave, mange the emotional roller coaster and take control of your own fertility journey, you can access my calendar for a free call here